The Secret Life of Olive Trees

by Annie
A lot has been said about olives and most of it has to do with extra virginity.So imagine my surprise and shock to discover that olives actually have sex! Well, not the olives … But let it suffice to say that having never considered the intimacy of olive trees, I was flabbergasted to discover that olive trees are either male or female.

So how does one go about distinguishing the machos from the maidens? First of all the females are slimmer and more silvery in color; the male trees are bigger, stronger, have more vegetation and are a darker shade of green. You can also tell the sex of the trees by the shape of their fruit: the male olives are longer and pointy whereas the female ones are more rotund. Is this starting to sound familiar?

The correct proportion of males to females is one in ten (a male olive tree world? . . this doesn’t seem fair) but then again pollination occurs by means of the wind.

I am however, deeply disappointed. Is there nothing sacred anymore? My perception of olive groves – with those wise, ancient and austere beings – has now been shattered forever!

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